Narcissistic Abuse.

This is a topic very close to my heart, and quite possibly my main area of specialism.

There is more on this site under Narcissism if you want to look further, and if you ever have any questions, please do get in touch, give me a call or send me a text: 07976629098.

There is so much involved with Narcissistic abuse, and every case is different, from malignant and quite vicious, psychopathic Narcissists to just plain old selfish people, or people that don't particularly 'care', not because they don't want to care but because they see not need? reason? -Or have no understanding of what 'caring' is- in the same way that you do.  

One summer’s day there was a swan gliding in the warmth of the river, on the river bank a scorpion approached and asked her if she would kindly give him a ride to the other side.
The swan said - “No! Of course not! uh hello? -You are a scorpion?! You will sting me and I will die.”
The scorpion noted the swan’s fears and with soothing noises, persuaded the swan that he would not do that, ever! ...All he wanted was a ride to the other side and he promised he was not like other scorpions and that she was safe with him, after all, she was special, kind and trusting and he could ask any swan, but he chose her.
So the swan thought, perhaps he IS right? Why should I judge the poor thing so harshly? After all, he only wants my help, just a lift to the other side, and bless him, he can’t swim like I can...
So eventually, and in some ways, against all her known warning signs, she gave in and invited the scorpion to climb on her back.
As she swam, just before reaching the shore on the other side the scorpion stung her as he jumped to safety.
The swan began to slowly drown unable to swim from his poisons and she cried, “Why did you break your promise?”
The scorpion walking away, with a flick of his tail said,
”Uh hello? I’m a scorpion? THAT is what I do.”
— Derived from the fable of the scorpion and frog.

That's the thing, there is not just one thing at play with Narcissistic abuse, there are so so many variables, and sadly, all it takes is just a little combination of kindness and trust paired with an emotional vacuum, and lo! One unbelievable, unimaginable combination of toxicity, and always, always in a fight, the Psychopath wins- Because they can.

Yep, they will tread where all us angels will fear.

So if you feel you are trapped in a Narcissistic relationship, from parent to work colleague, girlfriend to therapist (yes, they're out there), there is hope, and knowledge is power, google, youtube, find out MORE, and plan (if you are as yet unable to), plan to go,  NO CONTACT.... That's ZERO contact.... No kindness, no closure, no last words, nothing.... Because in a fight, they will win.

 

Testimonial

Oh gosh where do I start? Well firstly by saying a HUGE thank you to Tracey, the best counsellor I could ever wish to meet (virtually, on WhatsApp Video!) I was put in touch with Tracey via The Echo Society, a volunteer-driven not-for-profit organisation providing support for people who have been victims of Narcissistic abuse.

It was about a year earlier that I came to realise that my mum suffered from Narcissistic Personality Disorder and I opened up to a few close friends, which I found difficult. So I thought talking to someone I didn’t know about my experiences (via video) would be even harder. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Tracey put me at ease straight away and totally understood my situation. She is warm, kind and funny. As my sessions progressed various tricky family situations arose, I felt helpless and at times unable to cope. When I felt there was no answer, no way through, Tracey helped me find the way, in a style that I felt comfortable with and suited me. 

Prior to finding Tracey I had a few face-to-face sessions with a local counsellor. This helped get me started on the right path, but I felt I reached a dead end, as she didn’t understand that I couldn’t talk to my mum about our relationship and resolve the issues that way. Tracey totally “got it” and has helped me develop strategies and set boundaries to cope with my mum’s behaviour. Tracey often draws on her own personal experiences of Narcissistic abuse during our sessions and I find that very useful. She has helped me feel empowered; her counselling has had a positive impact on all areas of my life, not just my relationship with my mum. 

There have been lots of unhealthy thought patterns that have been ingrained in me since birth and reinforced by my mum throughout my life. If you have been a victim of Narcissistic abuse you will know what I mean. Tracey has helped me to retrain my brain and redress the balance.  I’m no longer a victim (I never really felt comfortable with that term), I’m a victor and Tracey has played a huge part in my healing journey.

I am so glad I found her, one day I hope to meet her in person and give her a hug! She has helped me so much. Thank you Tracey.