Game of Scones.

Back to School for Mums.

As if the kids suffering isn't enough, the whole playground hell is knocking.

What’s that sound? Is it the sound of the clock counting down to that dreaded first day, second day, next week, year after year?

Tick tock…

School time.

School uniform? Check.

New shoes? Check.

Summer of just enough catching up with the school friends to keep the return to school bearable.

New super trendy school lunch box? Nope

-Old, skanky, last year’s much loved (and rinsed and still stained) Tantrum-less lunchbox? Check.

Homework? Check.

Hamster still alive? (for those less fortunate summer sitters (well played school, well played.)) Check.

Full body covered armour? Check.

Flying dragons? Check.

Sanity..... meh.

How to OWN the yard.

Five top tips.

1. Smile, everyone else is terrified too. If you’re going down, go down smiling.

2. Everyone in the school playground is, thinking about THEMSELVES… And their child being the best. No-one actually has anytime for you and yours, let alone what you're doing to survive.

3. Have three questions lined up rehearsed and ready. Yes! It may seem bizarre but It works to be prepared even with seemingly inane casual chatter- None knows whats inside your head.

4. Invite mums ‘in’, use your body by turning yourself to mums mid chat or stepping back to include them, and then ask them what they think, this sets a precedence moving forward, people will subconsciously learn you are safe and inclusive and will more likely gravitate to you in the yard.

5. This is not you. You are mother, lover, friend, independent woman, who do you want to be? You can create whatever sort of yard self you want…. You can walk through the gates like Daenerys walking through the flames (ideally with clothes) into a yard of Dothraki. Just have fun….Know one knows what goes on in your mind. 

If in doubt, hypnosis can help too. You can feel a strong, confident player in the yard.

The Transformative Nature of Unrequited Love.

Guest Blog.

The Transformative Nature of Unrequited Love

Whether the relationship was completely imagined, partially begun, or deeply developed, most people have experienced that moment of realisation that it will never be.  However, through the pain of unrequited love, the potential for transformation is one of the more powerful and positive reactions.

Our minds can focus on self-improvement when we a yearning for another, because if the self that is rejected is not the person you wish to be, we can often vow to be better.  All of the facets of your life that you swore you would improve one day can come keenly into focus.  Whether your intention is to lose some weight, spruce up your appearance or become the accomplished individual that you always wanted to be, unrequited love can motivate you to finally pursue your goals.

Having met a seemingly great guy online, he simply disappeared one day.  He was French, handsome and had an appealing lifestyle.  From the beginning, I was flattered by his attention, and even before he vanished, the transformation had begun.  I started to commit to a diet and shed weight.  Within 3 weeks, I had dropped the dress size, which I had been trying to lose for the past 2 years. Next, I had always wanted to learn a second language, as I used to cringe at the thought that I had never been able to master one despite having classes at school.  Unbeknownst to him, I found myself secretly studying French again!  Most importantly, I looked at my life and work.  I wondered what had happened to the freelance writing that I had started successfully, but had not pursued for nearly 6 months, and I started to write again. 

When he disappeared, I felt so rejected, and I began to questioning why the relationship did not work out.   My deepest insecurities surfaced, and I was tempted to sink into the doldrums, but it was precisely the sting of not being accepted that fuelled my commitment to finally take the positive steps, which I had considered for so long. I decided that I did not want to be in the same predicament ever again.  I did not want to meet someone, and wonder why I was not introducing them to the person that I knew that I could be with a little more effort.   I continued to stick to my diet, learn French and made writing a new focus in my career.  

From time to time I have the great fortune of my path crossing with some wonderful people, I'd like to thank this lovely author for this beautiful piece on change. 

As a Hypnotherapist, I believe that if we have 'been there' mentally before, we can re-establish those brain patterns, and what more powerful behaviour action could there be than being in love? 

Perhaps sometimes we get beaten down in our day to day lives to forget how in love we are with our partner and sometimes we just need a gentle nudge or reminder to activate those mechanisms. Perhaps love feels like a distant memory of a relationship gone by. Whether it is changing our weight or feeling a little spiritually lighter, it can sometimes be really thought evocative to consider,

'What would I do right now if I were in the throes of being in love?'

Have a think, it may be surprising, it may even give you that glimmer of cheer and give you something to act on.

Letting go.

She just let go.

No one was around when it happened.

There was no applause or congratulations.

No one thanked her or praised her.

No one noticed a thing.

Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.

There was no effort.

There was no struggle.

It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad.

It was what it was, and it is just that.

In the space of letting go, she let it all be.

A small smile came over her face.

A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore…

Rev Safire Rose

I saw this poem on the internet (probably Facebook) and it resonated. I have been involved in change work for such a long time and sometimes I forget how wonderful and how beautiful it is.

Change doesn't have to be 'shout from the rooftops' radical, sometimes it can be as quiet as the poem and gently, subtly we realise just how different we are and have become.

That essentially is what I love about hypnosis, our mind and our bodies want us to survive, sometimes it's as simple as a mis-programmed safety switch, other times a more complicated system of knots, but hypnotherapy gets right in there, it detangles and allows the flow, and simply helps us to let go, perhaps with fireworks but sometimes just with a gentle sigh of release. It is our own poetry; our life's poetry that somehow gets trapped inside, that hypnotherapy can release, a freedom to be ourself.

We can read all the self help books in the world, from Paul McKenna to Eckhart Tolle and some things will resonate, and we may even make those changes, but nothing beats working with someone to make those changes, to recognise the changes, someone who truly wants the best for us and are by our side through all the challenges. That's the beauty of being a change worker, I get to be that person and get to see and support the incredible changes we are all capable of doing.

In recent months, despite being in the role I have always wanted and worked towards, I have been overwhelmed with extra work; all the stuff that in running a practice is unseen, family responsibilities, the elderly dog, the dreaded admin- all areas of life have demanded immediate attention, and just like that, I became swallowed in day to day minutiae, forgetting to iron the school shirts, forgetting to notice the sunshine, forgetting to notice that I had once again turned into an, "In a minute..." mum, and I so very I quickly lost sight of the horizon, the future, the hope.

Then, I was reminded, very gently, very quietly, by this poem coming my way once more.

I cannot be 100%, 100% of the time, no one can.

I am blissfully lucky to be able to do what I do, and truly grateful, and sometimes I too forget to reflect, to do the exercises I say to my clients; to give thanks and to just let go.

To everyone to whom I have ever crossed paths with, all my lovely, wonderful clients and friends, thank you. You have always been my inspiration. I feel truly blessed to have had the chance to work with you, and to those whom I have never met that get the chance to read this beautiful poem, I hope it does just the same for you, and gives you brief release, if only for a moment.

Ditch the spare tyre.

Top five tips for burning the rubber.

1. SEE THE FUTURE: Get a picture of you slimmer or find an image that is an achievable weight on the net.

2. FEEL THE SUCESS: Every time you worry about ‘gaining’ weight or the weight you are, just think about that image, let yourself dream of being at that point. Moving freely, laughing, having fun.

3. LEARN TO BELIEVE YOU CAN DO IT: you can do it; think of all of your other life achievements, you can shift a pound easily in comparison.

4. BELIEVE YOU CAN DO IT: just make little different choices; decide to treat yourself to something healthy for a change, treat your body to that bit of pineapple or that blueberry smoothy, why not?

5. JUST DO IT: Go on, just treat yourself to healthy, every day. Have that lovely yogurt infront of the telly, really look forward to it, your reward at the end of the day.

If we kept saying to a child when they were learning to ride,  “Look out for that bush, look out for that person, look out for that lamp post!!” What do we think will invariably happen? ....And what would happen if we kept on saying and saying and saying it?

That’s what we do when we’re scared of gaining weight or when we focus on our fat bits, so with the help of tip no1 lets focus on where we really want to go. (It’s Okay to see a positive future you know, we can just store that image in our heads and no-one will know). 

Feel the sensations of being slimmer, use every sense to truly experience the future so you can excite your imagination and then your body to really want it.

It will take a little time to persuade the belief to stick, don’t worry, these things do take time… Think of how long you have persuaded yourself to eat crap food and finally believed it was good for you, it made you happy.

Eventually the awkward practice will ease off, and before you know it , you are doing your visual mantras daily just as easily as you managed to negatively do it in the past. Who knows, you may even give yourself a wolf whistle at being soon very gorgeous.

Then finally, less the pressure of performance and the fear of failure, and before you even realise it, you will be choosing the more healthy, natural options, and that spare tyre? Well, that’s for those people who are scared that something may go wrong, they may crash into a bush or something.

Go. Kick arse and burn the rubber.

And of course, that's what the Hypnotherapy can do; you can shift those old, tired, subconscious beliefs that just don’t work for you anymore, it can access that part of your mind really easily, the part that takes time and a little persistence to reach in everyday day to day life.  It may be that you don’t want a one to one session, so go and have a look on youtube, there is a whole wealth of hypnosis videos for you to check out.

And if you want a more intensive, bespoke experience,

just call or text Tracey : 07976 629098

Sessions also available via Skype.

Thinking out loud.

Thank you to my wonderful guest writer for this lovely blog.

Everyone is getting therapy.  Everyone. Well, clearly not everyone, but a Sunday morning post therapy de-brief with a friend who had her session the evening before or my flatmate who had her session on Wednesday, is no longer an unusual feature of the week.

Therapy (and in particular hypnotherapy) is a pretty new development in my life, with a total of 5 sessions on tally at my time of typing. I’d thought about therapy for a while from my mid-20s (now 31) but the idea of brain spewing (as I like to call it) on a stranger was a pretty uncomfortable concept. Opening the treasure trove of mental junk accumulated through my teens and 20s just sounded like effort. And with that came the doubts and insecurities. What will I talk about? What will he/she think of me? Am I a nut job? Will it work? What do I even want to achieve?

Although I had a niggling idea of the kind of things that I thought were bothering me, I entered my first session nervous and unsure. Five sessions on, do I think therapy has been some miracle cure? No. I don’t think there was anything to “cure” in the first place. What I do know is that you don’t have to be crazy to see a therapist. You don’t need to be an emotional wreck struggling to function or suffer from addictions or OCD or any other reason we give ourselves to just not do it. In my last session I spoke about some personal ambitions I had and we explored how I might get there. That 1 hour a week with an unbiased, objective therapist, with no personal agenda has helped me re-focus on the issues at hand and start the process of becoming less burdened, re-energised and just not so damn hard on myself!

We’re only too happy to invest in the physical. A nice new outfit, some highlights in my hair, that brand new juicer and boot camp plan to keep in tip top shape. But what about the mind? What about the soul? It’s only natural that sometimes they might need tonic too.

So if you think you could benefit from chatting stuff through; whatever “stuff” looks like to you; what have you got to lose?

You’re not mental for seeing a therapist, you’re a pretty smart cookie. 

Black Sheep.

Today I read an article based on someone being called, “Too sensitive”, naturally every part of me wanted to respond “Aaaargh!!!” to the resolute victimness of it, as amongst other things, the statement, “You are too sensitive” is as much a wording structure issue as it is a judgemental issue.

I was reminded of a recent event where I (unusually ;-)) had some objections, and was told that, out of 30+ people, I was THE ONLY ONE who had complained. 

Now, many moons ago, if a person of status had said this to me, I would have quietly thought, ‘OMG! There’s something wrong with me!’ 

30+ people against 1….!!!

And backed down, feeling my opinion was 'lesser'.

But actually, over the years, I have got to know myself quite well, and whilst I can be too sensitive (sometimes) too opinionated (other times), I can also perceive really well when something is unfair and am a great fighter of the ‘underdog’. So, rather than accept this statement in the way it was designed, I chose to accept this divide and conquer statement as a compliment, 

‘In a poll of 31, you think I am unique, Awww, thank you’.

Because actually as much as I value being part of a tribe, I also rather value difference; I like difference, I enjoy difference.

Don’t get me wrong, not everyone does, but in certain contexts if I am labelled different, thank you. -It has taken a while to embrace being called, THE Black Sheep, but I actually, I rather like black sheep.

Being called, ‘Too’ anything can be hurtful or painful, especially when we are emotionally intelligent or empathic and just want to be part of a group or a unit. But then, it is about considering the context.

As a Hypnotherapist, part of the practice, (alongside the counselling skills) is to be aware of words and how we use them; perhaps we use metaphors to describe how we feel, or perhaps we rely on one of our senses more than the other; with training and experience I look for, listen to and sense all of these things when I am face to face with a client. I am acutely aware of word structures and how we use them to persuade ourselves to do, or not do something.

So imagine my surprise when in this article said loads about being ‘Too sensitive’ but gave little explanation of why the sentence structure alone can cause distress.

Definition.

Criticism:

noun

1. The expression of disapproval of someone or something on the basis of perceived faults or mistakes.

-‘Perceived’, even in the definition of criticism there is a singular opinion.....And there lies the rub, if we hear a stand alone statement such as,

‘YOU ARE TOO SENSITIVE’

Behind that statement is the sentiment of a huge 'US' against just a little you.

(‘Divide and conquer’)

The use of ‘Too’ can suggest that there are opinion polls, a mass of people and great swathes of experience to judge and asses us, evidence to all conclude that you are TOO sensitive or OVER reacting. 

(‘Over…’  again, another example that suggests that there is a preset/defined ‘norm’ and you are not complying to it).  These are isolating statements that imply,

YOU are the only one that is different.

And perhaps these statements are true, but ONLY according to the one person saying it…. What they perceive.

So what if we look at the fact that everyone is different? 

Some of us have blue eyes, some brown -we are all different. Imagine saying to someone, “Your eyes are too brown/blue.”  Of course we wouldn’t... Because we are aware that people are physically genetically different, and there’s little we/they can do about it, even the statement feels uncomfortable because we are not used to saying or hearing it.

What if we too, are all emotionally different? intellectually different? etc etc… Then, rather than thinking that one way is right or wrong, we use what we have got to the best of our capabilities, and make the best out of who we really are?

If we are a black sheep, be the fluffiest, butt-kicking black sheep there is.

So how about we look at any judgemental sentence and change it to, 

“You are too sensitive (for me).” “You are over sensitive (and I can’t understand)"

...Then walk away knowing that the person who said the statement, just can’t keep up with us?

Footnote: Absolutely, we may be wrong, but that’s OK isn’t it? We are all allowed to get things wrong now and again, surely?

Love Actually (in little miracles).

There are loads of reasons why I chose to practice Hypnotherapy and become a Hypnotherapist, I mostly practice because I  believe that there is so much we don't know about what we do and why we do it- there is a whole unseen world out there and in here (*points to the head).

My Grandparents were together for what seemed like forever when I was young, and were happy together. My grandma was disabled very early on with Rheumatoid Arthritis, and my Grandpa cared for her, and from their late 40's onwards they were rarely separated.

In his mid 60s my Grandpa was diagnosed with (MND) Motor Neurone Disease (a muscle wasting disease that works its way through the system destroying muscle after muscle), it started with his foot; he just became unable to lift it to walk- it would just hang loosely. The Doctor diagnosed MND and so we all faced the news.....

And for decades that was all it was, just a dropped foot.

One day my grandmother took ill and sadly died quite suddenly, shocking us all but not as much as Grandpa, of course. He was lost without her, and so it began; The motor Neurone Disease took hold, and within a month it had worked its way through his body and my Grandfather died, just like that. He had no reason to keep living.

I was very close to my grandparents and I know, that my grandpa wanted to go and he 'allowed' his disease to take over....For him, in that last month the disease was a blessing- he didn't want to carry on without my grandmother.

Like everyone, we are all different, and all individual, and all react in unique ways to our challenges in life. One mans' rubbish is another mans' treasure and all that.

I have been very fortunate to witness what was for me, a miracle of the body and the minds' engineering; it has moulded me into the therapist I am today. It has composed my beliefs into what they are today, I know there is more to life than cells and biology and I am fortunate to have witnessed the minds' power in a truly awesome way.

So, as I walked along today, behind my parents (who surprised visited this weekend) I watched them walking ahead side by side, my dad held out his hand and my mum took it, neither needed to look.

The Motor Neurone Disease Association.

http://www.mndassociation.org/

The Widowhood Effect.

http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2015/11/science-of-longtime-couples-who-die-together.html?mid=emailshare_scienceofus

Problem? Solved.

I was walking to the tube (in a rush of course) the other morning, and as I was walking down Brixton hill, I noticed the elastic had gone in my right sock- Know that feeling?! Grrrr.....

-I didn't have time to stop and pull it up (of course). So for the rest of the walk all I could do was focus on that faulty sock, no matter what.

That got me thinking of how I just take my working socks for granted......No, really!

The same goes for life, I figure: We spend so much time focussing our mind on the things that we do wrong or that have gone wrong, and easily forget that we have so many more things that we do right or that go 'right'..... Especially the perfectionists in us.

It's been a while since I have blogged- as I became distracted by how one should Blog, and in the face of quietly knowing that I am a fine story teller (part of the job) I absolutely believed, that I am no skilled writer (!) and so I became defeated, and backed off (subconsciously) from blogging.

It was only until a friend said, "I really like your way of writing, why aren't you doing any blogs?" that I realised that rather than thinking that, actually the blogs may have been OK, I was focussing on my problem with blogging- I am no skilled literary tactician, let alone a genius that should be writing on the internet and I certainly do not write like I'm supposed to.

Hey ho.

I write like me.

So there we have it.

With a bit of thinking I concluded, What I have is the desire to heal; to help, and I am very fortunate that I have the ability and the vehicle to voice what hopefully could help.... Aaaaand, if it's technically inept, so be it... I am doing my best.

Sooo. Back to the topic at hand; socks....problems......problem behaviour.... the fallen sock.

A problem behaviour is simply something that we just don’t want to do anymore- what it is, it’s topic doesn’t matter- what matters is that we want it gone. So we can focus on the good stuff.

There are many different words used to describe problem behaviours, so I've listed a couple and popped at the end, what I think to be their opposite.

Problem  = a harmful matter needing to be dealt with and overcome  = Solution

Impulsive  = sudden strong unreflective urge  = Deliberate

Compulsive  = resulting from or acting on an irresistible urge  = Apathetic

Excessive  = more than is necessary, normal or desirable  = Moderate

Habitual  = done constantly or as a habit  = Temporary

Addicted  = physically dependent on a particular substance or activity   = Indifferent.

Dependent  = relying on something or someone for support  = Independent

Perhaps, then rather than considering the problem, we can use the mantra and with each problem, focus on the opposite, and say,

"I shall be.....'moderate' today in the face of biscuits" etc.

We can focus on the good things and/or our good qualities,

'I am indifferent when I think about Fig rolls'.....

"Today I shall be indifferent about chocolate digestives". 

That is the fab thing about self hypnosis, we can say these things, and truly adapt and focus our mind on our own solutions- It works, it takes time but it works.

With hypnotherapy we can communicate straight to the subconscious and work at really trusting and believing ourselves.

So that our behaviour (the one we want) goes as unnoticed as a good pair of socks.

POWER SONGS!

I have been talking with a client or two of late about …..POWER songs!

In our  Hypnotherapy 'trade’ songs can act like audio anchors, and for me at my grand age, I have gathered a fab audio anchor or two….

https://youtu.be/07Fp-omNXCw  = My bedroom, me, aged 12, a rainy (Thursday/Tuesday?) evening after school, reading Smash Hits on my bed = Happiness.

https://youtu.be/NRFrCe3mLZk = My first crush… (I even remember his Full name) Junior school, summer’s days walking home, hoping to bump into him = Anything is possible.

Aaaaah….Of course! Writing this blog will take me ages…. As I just HAVE to listen to each and every tune! ….Best stop there.

There’s a whole wealth of years to minutes where just the few cords at the start of each and every song take me back to that moment in time. I have a whole library of emotional histories that I can tap into!

https://youtu.be/lQrezk5EmZ0 = Winkle-picker shoes, looking fab, Feeling Awesome.

Of course, I have to (sadly) give this one up….As my Elliot is moments away from 17, but I can only hope his future girlfriend has been taught well by her parents, and has this now retro song swinging it’s way through her head. 

https://youtu.be/zRN2yeFL0gQ

That is the whole point of ‘anchors’ in hypnotherapy- we get taken to that past emotional state.

How amazing then, if we have at our fingertips, those songs that create in us positivity when we feel down… whether we like it or not?

That when we feel great and on-top of it all, we compile our awesome playlist that we can just press play when we are feeling down and our subconscious gets dragged into moments of happiness whether it likes it or not? 

I dare you not to smile with this…….

https://youtu.be/bNfEH6oW5AY

Finally, a word of warning- The above are all demonstrations of my well used power songs, to remind me of what it feels like to be in different states of happy that I can build on in my present day.

I can also choose recent, songs to create a feeling of empowerment in me, 

However……When choosing a new song or two, have a think whether the songs are “away from” or “going to” songs… We want GOING TO songs because we are always moving forward and whilst the past can help us positively we want to keep moving forward.

Do please feel free to email any power songs you have and I can start a nice little online library! 

hypkids@gmail.com

Loose Weight Fast.

The answer to speedy weight loss?

Starvation.

Sorted.

.....Only your body won't let you- because it wants you to live a long and healthy life.

Today we have the election results. I don't know about you, but when I crossed by ballot form I was overwhelmed with a sense of, no matter what I do, little old me, it won't make a difference.

I still voted, just in case it did. 

The whole system reminded me of the diet trap- that feeling that no matter what you do, it won't make a difference.

And it is true, it won't make a difference to the diet industry- that massive beast that gives you so many options you don't know what to do for the best, and leaves you feeling hopeless and helpless.

But doing something anyway will make a difference to you.

I go to a shop and I buy a toaster; and expensive toaster.

After a couple of weeks it starts to go wrong, and eventually I stop using it because it has broken.

Naturally, I blame myself for not being totally committed to making the toaster work properly.

I must have done something wrong.

So I live with the broken toaster and keep blaming myself, and keep trying to make it work. 

To trim the fat, do what works FOR YOU.... You know your body, and if you cannot hear it's quiet voice; hypnotherapy can help you to hear it...And believe it....And do something about it.

And, slowly forgetting the bigger picture (because it is warped), you can make the changes that WORK FOR YOU.

Start with little changes that will get bigger and proportionally your body will do the opposite.

Get it sorted, done and out of the way.

So why Therapy? .....Why Hypnotherapy?

There are many reasons to go for therapy but sometimes we can just have simply a heavy heart or feel a little lost- even though everything is going great in life.

Those of us who are in therapy or work training circles will know of Maslow and his Hierarchy of needs- (It’s rather like Aromatherapies’ Lavender equivalent- a basic). 

But for those who do not, I shall just give a little blog about it -as I use it as a core principle in Hypnotherapy, as I very much believe in having a background of counselling to be a good Hypnotherapist. I also believe that rolling my sleeves up and getting the work done as efficiently as possible is the mark of a good Hypnotherapist.

It's like the computer game of life, or snakes and ladders- You begin at the base level; Physiological needs, and once those needs are covered then you can move up a level....And so on. Of course people can 'skip' levels but in my experience, what comes with skipping levels is an 'emptiness' of sorts, or simply feeling something 'wanting'.

Each level of work puts different demands on us to grow and whenever we do feel that "wanting' or that 'emptiness' we can look at the levels and see what we have missing.

For example, if a person isn't getting the sleep that they want (or more so need), that becomes the primary focus to change; It is the first question I will always ask myself in this busy life, and a great starter.

Are YOU getting enough sleep? And of course for those of us who haven't got a stretch of insomnia, it is the first and easiest thing to do something about. Turn off that screen and go to bed. Problems become much more manageable when we sleep better and then, when we eat healthier.

And like a glass ceiling, if these aren't tackled we will keep bouncing back to the level before.

Boring but true.

The self-esteem glitch.

We are very good at doing what we are good at, and so we adapt to our 'strengths' (whether we like them or not), because it is safer than the uncertainty of maybe getting things wrong, consequently in time, we can be so far removed from where we first started, that we don't feel 'ourself' and once we recongnise that empty feeling we can work to refocus and remember what we have missed doing; because even though we loved doing it, we weren't that good and gave up.

So why not do something simply for the pleasure of doing it, even if the results may be less than glamorous? Lets find our true selves and enjoy the moment rather than the result.

The opposite end of the spectrum is 'self actualisation', and usually occurs in life, when we have 'achieved' everything; What now? What next? After years of service we retire, or the children fly the nest and we face new and different goals and challenges- What is our own sense of purpose when we have spent decades caring for others? Where do we look for a new sense of purpose? This is where, again, we can feel lost or feel the pain of, "Money isn't everything". When we think, yep, every box is ticked and realise that the material stuff just isn't enough.

The great thing I love about being a Hypnotherapist; is that the answers are ALWAYS there; side by side with the problem; and using the skills learnt from training and experience I can help to give you the space to see what is going on, and hopefully solve it. 

Don't get me wrong, it doesn't mean that I am problem free, Hell no! Like everyone,  I am blind to my own problems and therefore solutions, and when I suffer; I too see a professional to help me see what I am missing and find a solution.

I could, if I had a car problem, for example, fix it myself and look for the problem with my untrained eye, then find the solution, then fix it with my untrained hand, of course I could! But it would just take longer.... A really long time... Because I am A) Not interested in cars and how they work and B) Believe that I am no good at fixing cars. I just like driving them.

The same goes with our minds, if theres a problem no matter how big or small, go see a specialist to get it fixed. 

"Cluck Cluck"

.....The common mis-conceptions of hypnotherapy.

Yesterday I spent my first day based in Harley Street and completely enjoyed the new experience of being in central London- Not only being there but doing what I love there.

And naturally I experienced new and different patients, from different fields and different areas but one thing I noticed was, that although we are different in what we do and how we see the world, we can all still carry the same fears about what we know very little about.

And again, the common fears of the power of hypnosis came up- No matter what walk of life we are from, these fears of the unknown can all be quite similar.

 

Will I be asleep?

It is not uncommon to associate sleep with hypnosis, as sleep is also a deep trance state. I do believe that if my patient goes to sleep then I am not doing my job properly! The aim of any hypnosis is to create a deep, relaxed physical state, however the mind is totally alert and energised to hear what is being said; hypnosis can just as easily occur with the eyes open, however, when the eyes are closed the imagination can create more sophisticated images and these can help to relax the mind even deeper.

So although you may appear asleep- eyes closed, breathing deeply and looking relaxed, you are far from sleep- you are engaged and active in your own world of imagination.

Will I be able to be hypnotised?

As I mentioned in my previous post, we are all suggestible, all hypnotisable; the amount can vary. We can all go into a deep state of relaxation- If we allow ourselves to. This is why trusting your hypnotherapist can be so very important. If you are in a session and you feel safe, secure and that your therapist understands and wants the best for you, there can be little reason to block yourself from hypnosis.

When I work with my patients, I know that I want the best for them; that every part of me wants them to shine and be successful and I know that that 'love' for someone is contagious, because I too know that when someone is rooting for me, I mean really supporting me, I feel that I can achieve ANYTHING! And of course, having someone listening and on your side is great therapy in itself, and once you truly feel safe, and in a space where you can open up and trust, then work can be done.

What are the side effects?

There are amazing side effects with hypnosis- things that you don't expect; people can come for therapy for weight loss and suddenly find themselves saying "No" to all sorts of things; not just chocolate. People can come for confidence and discover that they are tidier at home, or that they begin jogging, phoning friends they haven't spoken to for ages; all sorts. There are loads of side effects with hypnosis that are unexpected.

However the predictable, side effects, such as, "Will I be able to drive afterwards?".... It all depends if you were able to drive before... (bad pun). Yes (and the same goes for operating heavy machinery).

Yes, because in a trance hypnosis you are using your brain and energising new parts of the brain, you can drive as well as and maybe better than you did before. You will just simply feel refreshed.

Will I divulge my inner secrets?

This is a most important fear. NO, no you will not. The secrets you keep are yours and yours alone. They will always be as safe and undisturbed as you keep them.

We have a great fear that we may be discovered to be something horrific because we had a thought fifteen years ago that scared us and because we would never dream of acting out that thought- we are horrified. Sometimes it is worth remembering that we are ALL able to think things - whether voluntarily or involuntarily- and sometimes (I liken it to burping) Our mind 'burps' out a thought, and as quickly as it comes, it goes, but because we are shocked we thought that, it 'sticks' because we are shocked at ourselves. Thoughts can just be exactly that, a thought, whether we act out the 'burped' thoughts is a whole different matter. If we want to keep them as secrets, or things we have done as secrets we can, any good hypnotherapist will know that what is yours is yours.

The same goes for our unconscious- we all have capabilities that we have no idea of- this is true for most, if not all of us. If you want to go there and discover new things, we can give it a go, and if you don't, we won't. You will ALWAYS be in control.

Will I forget everything that is being said?

The aim is that you remember the work we have done together. You may forget the bits that are boring, although within the hour you are unlikely to be bored.

It is a common misconception that we don't remember- thanks to episodes of Columbo and Murder she wrote- and the ever popular stage hypnosis. Hypnotherapy is different; it is not a source of entertainment but a power house for changing something that causes you pain- so you will not only want to remember the change, you will not want to forget it.

Will I lose control?

(AKA: WILL I STRIP NAKED AND BEHAVE LIKE A CHICKEN?)

No. You will ALWAYS have control. IF you could lose control to the ever powerful hypnotist the world would be instantly cured of all it's ailments.

This one question is what makes Hypnotherapy complex; if I said to you, "You will NEVER eat chocolate again." And you never ate chocolate again, you have given me that control- Hypnotherapy doesn't happen like that; for you, eating chocolate (aside from it's chemical stimulants) could be the only way you take a break from the busy life you lead, eating chocolate could comfort you or stuff down feelings of anger- for you, your defence mechanism, (in this case chocolate) but it could just as easily be small spaces, not going out, smoking - anything,  your defence mechanism can do a myriad of things to keep you SAFE, and YOUR subconscious would NOT trust a stranger to just drop in and 'whip' it away.

Until you are ready, and you have put other safety mechanisms in place, or have built enough trust in yourself that you KNOW things will be alright, as you are equipped with alternative ways of protection, YOU would not trust someone, just anyone to remove those old protections.

However when you are ready to change and this preparation is as much a part of hypnotherapy as the hypnosis, change can happen under hypnosis- easily.

But you are ALWAYS, ALWAYS in control.

Finally, If you want to strip naked and behave like a chicken, be my guest, but you will need to find a different kind of hypnotist....

However, if you want to be slimmer and wear a bikini on holiday- Give me a shout.

Hypnosis...Don't believe it.

APPROXIMATELY....

15% of people are highly susceptible to hypnosis

70% of people are susceptible

15% of people have a low susceptibility

How do we know who we are?

Does it matter?

As a Hypnotherapist, it does matter, but then, it's my job.

Will hypnosis work for me?

Is a regular question I get asked, and at the beginning of any course of work, in fairness, I have no idea.

I know, EVERYONE is susceptible; I just don't know how much.

What I do know, is that I put all my training and life wisdom (some may laugh at this point) into each session, with every client, and we do what ever works to get the change they want.

There is a lovely metaphor:

A plumber gets called in to fix someones bathroom leak, he walks in and the owner explains that they have tried EVERYTHING to fix the leak...Everything- and they are at a loss. The plumber listens to all they have done and turns the system on, listens very carefully and gets his pliers and hammer out of his toolbox, goes upstairs, tweaks a leaver and taps a pipe a couple of times.

He then returns downstairs and says, "The problem's fixed, that'll be £500 please".

The owner, horrified, says, "HOW MUCH?! How is that possible? You were only here five minutes?!"

And the plumber says, "You're not paying for just my time; anyone can tap a few pipes; you're paying for me KNOWING where to tap".

That's the beauty of any great therapy; a lifetime of behaviour can change in just a few moments with knowing exactly where to tap.

Aside from whether hypnosis works for you or not; within any great hypnotherapy comes the learnt understanding of behaviours and rituals alongside the habits we create to reinforce such things...We can learn and understand that bit more about ourselves.

Hypnosis does work, but for the sceptics and the low susceptibility'ists' so too does the therapy, and for those people who believe, 'To get a job done, do it yourself" So does the hour where, they can do it themselves- with a little bit of support for heading in the right direction.

And even with the low susceptibility"ists', those who like to hold ALL the control, and the sceptics who only know what they know; over time the trust can build and even they can choose to want hypnosis...And most do.

So What.

Today I have been listening to a BBC 4 programme on the shadow side to the placebo effect, The Nocebo Effect “to do harm” , and how the Nocebo effect can be equally as strong, (if not more powerful) in tests with pain as the Placebo effect. 

-So for example when we read the side effects of a tablet or Google contra-indications of the medication recently prescribed, we are more likely to go straight to the tablet being the source of our stomping headache and dehydration… Rather than the drink (or two) we had last night.

And, to use a metaphor; If we were out one day (feeling great) and a friend said, "Hmmm.. I am not sure about that top on you..." We can automatically begin questioning how we look, or feeling uncomfortable- even when before that comment, we felt great....The power of suggestion with the Nocebo effect.

We can always call on the consequences of the placebo to do good… But we also need to consider the Nocebo effect- of what we Google when we are worried, or what we hear from health professionals and even friends.

I very much believe in the power of suggestion and self hypnosis as I have been fortunate to have had the experience of simply;  just the best grandparents, and so I thought I would share my story with you on why I chose to become a Hypnotherapist.

I was very close to my grandparents when I was growing up, My grandma was disabled by Rheumatoid Arthritis at an early age- this meant she couldn’t escape my constant narrative when I visited, and to relieve her, my grandpa used to jump in and take me away; outside in the back garden- to his sanctuary, where we’d sketch, pinch the bits off the tomatoes in his super-heated green house, watch the birds, manure the roses and tell me tall stories of how he would collect the manure from all the wild horses that roamed Swansea, and then he would go back to showing me all the wonders of the universe through that back garden.

When I was at University I used to visit them whatever holidays I could, I loved them dearly and knew they loved me just as much.

My grandpa one day, when I was in my teens became diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease- a muscle wasting disease, and for him, it started in a dropped foot when he walked; the diagnosis wasn’t good and my grandpa’s greatest concern was, who would look after my Grandma if something happened to him?

For ten years Grandpa had the disease which only had a mild effect on his body....Just the dropped foot.

One day in my twenties, my grandma became significantly unwell and needed hospitalisation, in hospital she was accidentally dropped and, due to her Rheumatoid Arthritis and (severely) heavy bruising, she sadly died a day or so later.

Everyone was devastated, but none moreso than Grandpa.

It took just a month for my Grandpa to let the Motor Neurone Disease take him.

My Grandpa, is very much the reason why I do truly believe in the wonders of Hypnosis and self hypnosis- he showed me very early on, what the power of the mind can really achieve, and you know what? Even if you don’t believe like I do, it doesn’t matter, because there is enough crazy evidence to suggest (excuse the pun) when all else fails, even simple Placebo can work.

And why the blog on it's shadow side? Because we find it incredibly difficult to believe that there is power in good things- "It's too good to be true" but find it really easy to believe in the power of negative things, no one ever says, "It's too bad to be true", so if we take the understanding of the Nocebo effect and believe that this too can be used positively (and unmaligned) the Placebo has power, so even if you don't believe in Hypnosis, it can be really easy to believe in the Placebo effect.

So whether you believe that Hypnotherapy works or not.... So what.

With the right ingredients; liking your therapist, being on the same wavelength and wanting to change, whether it is Hypnosis or Placebo that works for you -what difference does it make when the change happens?

If you too would like to listen to the BBC programme......

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b052j0ty 

The Butterfly Effect.

In Chaos theory, the Butterfly Effect is the, "Sensitive dependence on initial conditions in which a small change in one state of a deterministic nonlinear system can result in large differences in a later state. "

When people wonder why and if therapy works the Chaos Theory Butterfly Effect can begin to give an answer.

All too easily when we are growing up we unwittingly take on other people's opinions- both good and bad- because when growing up we are like sponges and don't have the wisdom of experience and knowledge to understand and filter; that that is just someone's opinion- their opinion formed from their lifelong experiences; and so on (and we could so easily get lost in nature vs nurture here).

Nevertheless, we carry these "opinions" subconsciously around with us and subconsciously prove their rightness or wrongness, and of course, the closer the person to us, the more likely we absorb- so it could be a parent, a best friend, a favourite aunty, or in situations where the context is unusual, we suddenly discover that we have taken on the comment of a stranger from the corner shop.

So when we are working in a therapeutic environment these little faulty ingrained beliefs come to surface, and with the addition of hypnosis, we can look at ways of changing what we truly believe about what was once a tiny, throw away statement by someone... And how true or false that statement is.

Many moons ago, in my previous career of being a stained glass artist, I believed that, (a silly belief) 'artists don't wear trainers' and therefore because I was an artist, I didn't wear trainers. -this amazingly limited my behaviour; and consequently I had never even considered running or going to the gym...or indeed any pursuit that involved trainers! This belief, was deeply buried in my subconscious and never even surfaced to be questioned, because I just accepted and believed that I was not THAT sort of person.

BUT once that faulty belief is questioned, and then realised that the belief is faulty- (no matter how long it has been with us), change can be put into action.

So when you have a moment, have a think of when you began believing that you were / were not THAT sort of person; when you decided to be anxious about X situation, or when you decided you have an addictive personality or when you chose to be unconfident and then imagine what would change in your life today, if you changed that one tiny belief .

What is Hypnotherapy?

Hypnosis is an altered state of consciousness- it is not sleep.

In fact, we go in and out of these altered states every day- driving in the car, watching telly, being bored, being engrossed- This is the "feeling" of what it could be like in hypnosis (bearing in mind everyone is different).

My favourite feeling is that of the memories of sunbathing (full sun factor of course), when you're lying on a hot enough beach and you can hear the sound of the sea and the sound of people in the distance enjoying themselves, and you are just the right temperature and there are no pressures of work and you know you can lie there until you get ....bored!....Bliss! (Unfortunately it takes me an average of 8 minutes of doing nothing before I get bored!)

So that feeling of being "in the moment" is exactly the feeling I aim for when practicing hypnosis- achieving the feeling of beautiful relaxation; the sort you feel when you've washed the bed sheets, had a bath and are snuggling in, about to go to sleep.

And of course, you are in complete control of this- You can chose how comfortable you want to feel and how 'in the moment' you want to be. All the while your attention is alert and in the right place- like when you read a good book or watch a good film- you know EXACTLY what is going on around you but chose to 'ignore it' and enjoy the film, and if, something occurred, like the knock of the door- your attention would immediately swap to going to answer the door, albeit grumpy.

Hypnosis works in exactly the same way; but with the right input, in the right places, changes in your mind pathways can be made- to make the changes in your day to day life that you want to make, easier. How deeply you go into a trance is up to you? How deeply do you get engrossed in a book? A film? A football match? With the right topic we can become as deeply engrossed as we chose- The "trick" as a Hypnotherapist (not hypnotist- as we work within the realms of trust) Is to achieve that lovely state of relaxation even though you have stresses at work or are anxious or worried.

Hypnosis can make the difference you are looking for if you want to change and feel frustrated that you are getting in your own way and stopping the change you want.

More = More

Don't be afraid of the doodle!

We had our annual National Council for Hypnotherapy conference this weekend, with four fabulous speakers! Trevor Silvester, Ivan Tyrrell, Aaron Turner and Roy. F. Baumeister.  During the day, inspired by what was being said, I took notes upon notes to remember ....EVERYTHING!!! 

I find note taking helps me to subconsciously learn and process by processing through my hands. 

At the end of the day a couple of people asked what I was doing; "It's the way I have always taken notes," I explained, "Some people think in lists, I think in randoms". I find it helps me to remember the sentiment of the talk, if I remember the images I was feeling /seeing at the time; a bit like when you hear a piece of music and it takes you back to the time when it first resonated.

What my note taking also does is it helps me to speed up finding what I was looking for in months to come, rather than reading my way down endless lists.

Now, this approach doesn't suit everybody, I know, but, for the humble, disorganised creatives like myself, it is a great approach to learning or revising.

But also there is opportunity for make links easier- such as the pink ink made links for me throughout the different subjects presented. 

So if you do like a doodle and you do need to remember stuff.... give it a go- Keep your doodles to remind you of what was been said.

What I took from the day was remembering to work simply; go with the basics (amongst other things). But mainly to remember no matter what you do-

MORE = MORE

The more we do something, the easier it gets to do and the easier it gets to do MORE of the same.

That 'same' can be sitting on the sofa eating chocolate or nipping out for a quick walk around the block.

So how about, with the change of the weather we decide to adapt with it, by employing just one or two tiny changes?

then...

MORE = MORE

And those changes become habit....the things we do...and we forget that we are doing them and decide to do new things to adapt to our new self.

MORE = MORE

So even if its as simple as, brushing teeth EVERY morning (yes, I have just finished talking to my teen with a dry toothbrush) or as complicated as a 5 fruit smoothie before the jog, change can be good in little nibbles.

Bon-doodle chaps!

Oooo! And finally, if you notice something in the doodles that resonate with you, please do let me know!

Carpe Diem

Those who know me well; clients and friends alike, know that I very much ascribe to Carpe Diem, and this evening was to be no different.

This evening I would be all tucked up with my best friend in the deepest darkest part of Scotland preparing to greet tomorrow's eclipse with a little vino, but alas, it was not meant to be (another win for EasyJet) as my little Poppy- a 9 year old King Charles Spaniel, was a little too zealous around the local common on our usual walk.

So instead I am home nursing my snoring Spaniel with one sore sprained leg....I am not entirely sure who is the most miserable. 

Naturally, I've spent the entire day consoling myself over the loss of ticket cost as much as the loss of the loveliest of company. So as a consequence, I decided to take a trip to B&Q to peruse hardware to cheer myself up (each to their own, I know). After a frisson with the excitement of an Angle Grinder (I chose to not buy) I made my way home empty handed and empty hearted. Not that cheery, it has to be said.

I drove past my son's school on route and the students were all on their break, and, as it happened, I noticed my 17 year old in the yard; instinct overrode sensitivity and before I knew it I beeped the horn... twice. "Oooh Nooo! Crap! " I thought, "I'll pay for that later" and as I was thinking that with 'mother shame', he looked up, saw me......And smiled...And waved!!! 

The rest of my journey home I beamed....And beamed. That moment as precious as any eclipse.

Mechanical thinking for weight loss.

5 top tips for weight loss ....The kind way.

If diets don’t work then what now?

How about attempting a couple of practical little changes?

Think about your body in terms of what stresses/excites it- imagine it is a machine that needs to be cared for- It’s basic functions for survival are drinking, eating, exercise and sleeping.

(And this may be very dull for the dieters who like “extreme” dieting)

Regulate.

Be boring.

Think logically.

Think mechanically.

TOP TIPS:

1.    Get enough sleep; if the body is tired, the body is stressed.

2.    THREE MEALS A DAY!

Spaced 4 hours apart ideally- this will give your digestive system and the related hormones a break.

3.    Eat before exercise.

If your body wakes hungry/thirsty and you exercise before anything, you’re stressing your body.

4.    Go to natural foods; avoid heavily processed foods- The more processed the food, the harder it is for our natural bodies to process- this stresses the body.

5.    If you’re going to drink alcohol, drink it with your meal.

Hypnotherapy for weight loss can be useful to alter the mind into thinking about the body and it’s functions- stripped clean of emotions; that we eat, we drink, we exercise, to be healthy for survival- 

We have an optimum weight for survival which is normal, natural and ideal.

When we aim for this, our will power works WITH us and not against us in fear of starvation.

Think about it, it’s easy when it’s logical.

.....And if there is resistance to that? Then chances are there are emotional factors getting in the way, hypnosis can work with establishing those factors, getting rid of them and replacing them with positive emotional beliefs.

Like anything, gentle baby steps are always easier for change, so just tailor your life a little and you will get little results, tailor yourself a lot and the results get bigger, and remember, your body is a machine when it’s well oiled and regulated it works at it’s best.

Weightloss vs Addiction

What is food addiction?

Food addiction pretty much is being addicted to rubbish food in the same way that people are addicted to smoking, drinking or drugs. A food addicts' brain transmitters respond in the same way that a junkies brain would respond to their drug. 

Food addiction is a relatively new (and controversial) term, but is something to consider when you reflect on how you respond to certain foods.

How to beat food addiction.

The best way for losing weight is getting to know yourself- How you respond to situations as much as how you respond to foods.

The way hypnosis works with "comfort eating" is a similar way to dealing with different addictions; usually comfort eating is due to the trigger of certain foods that involves white sugar and the refined carbs.  For example, at this time of year, I KNOW hot cross buns are a trigger food for me, because after I have one bun I find myself justifying why I should have more, this can then lead to opening the doorway to other sugary foods. The best remedy? Sadly, not buying hot cross buns in the first place.

Conquering food addiction and the triggers is not easy and not simple, and like Alcoholics Anonymous; the first step is admitting the addiction in the first place- And although there are many jokes of people admitting, "My name is X and I am an alcoholic.."  The sentiment of the statement means the alcoholic recognises that they WANT the drink, their journey will be tough, but they will abstain from what they want the most.

Yep, if it's chocolate, start with that. Abstain from chocolate and be aware that it has been your destructive drug, if it's cheese, do the same.

The beautiful thing about the change is that it only takes a few days for the body to adjust once the mind is set, be gentle and praise yourself for three days after you decide to stop- coach your way through it....At this time of year, it WILL get easier!

 

We have summer ahead.......

This is a great time to CHANGE!

..........It will get easier!

How does hypnotherapy work for weight loss?

Hypnotherapy for weight loss can be incredibly effective if you WANT to lose weight and it "bolsters your intent" like a megaphone, the words need to be there and the hypnosis "shouts" it. For everyone weight control/loss varies from person to person, for some it is "comfort eating" (addiction) others, portion control and so on. Some people want to future focus and goal set, others know their behaviours are linked to something in their past....Either way, hypnosis can make a difference if you are ready to change your body!