Worth watching Ted talk!!!
So often we pretend because we are afraid of being who we really are.
Brene Brown in her Ted talk above, talks about the power of vulnerability; on how being authentic and vulnerable can increase our own happiness/contentment. Of course, you may take what you like from this talk, as other aspects may resonate with you, but for me, I was reminded of something that happened recently, where my son was unhappy.
His grandmother commented that he was "lacking in manners" (because he didn't burst into conversation when we visited). I replied, "He is unhappy at the moment, so he is hardly going to be chirpy and smiley." His response should have been to put on a brave face to make his grandmother feel more comfortable, but he was being authentic (as children are way more able to do than us adults).
This got me thinking that we regularly "put on a brave face" and hide how we are feeling. Perhaps that is how we have been conditioned since children- to put the other persons' needs before ours?
In a different parallel and at different times, I would have reprimanded my son to do exactly that. In this instant though I understood that he was unhappy and gave him the space to be "real" and defended his right to be himself. Surely with those who he loves and whom love him, he should be able to be authentic and feel safe?
That led me to thinking, how many times in life are we expected to "perform" and perhaps by releasing the pressure to "perform" we can be much more true to who we really are.
In her talk, Brene highlights 4 basic ways of being:
The COURAGE to be imperfect
COMPASSION to be kind to ourselves before being kind to others.
A greater ability to CONNECT with others because we are being real.
The ability to fully embrace VULNERABILITY.