Most of us are facing the lock down number two, and while it’s lovely being cosy and snug and not commuting in the rain and the cold. What is not so lovely is being under 20 feet from the kitchen and ‘fridge TV’.
It is just SO easy to take a break from home-working or managing the kids to go look in the kitchen cupboards or to stand vacantly in front of the glow of the fridge light looking for something delicious to break the monotony of the day; invariably there’s nothing delicious, so anything will do, those stale crackers could be pepped up with a good helping of butter and cheese….
But what if there IS something delicious, lots of delicious things in fact and you’re all alone and there is just no-one but yourself to stop you?
May the binge begin.
You told yourself shopping that you wouldn’t and this time you would eat sparingly, do it differently, but that was during the day and now it’s dark, you’re knackered, fed up and, well, there all that food is.
So what we know is, the same behaviour = the same outcome.
So perhaps it is worth doing something a little differently?
Give yourself permission to binge- A huge motivator is self loathing, so what would happen if it was Okay to actually binge?
Mid-binge have a small break, take yourself to a mirror and go and smile at yourself, say out loud words of encouragement; talk about your successes in life, then give yourself permission to go back to bingeing, if you are still enjoying it. If not, do something that you may enjoy instead, perhaps a bath or a shower, chuck on some music or listen to a TED talk.
Do not promise to starve yourself the following day whilst you are eating, you do not deserve further punishment.
What could you do that would be kind to yourself? What would you say to your best friend if she was in pain? Kindness is always the key.
Have a think, when you have a moment about what a good enough parent would say, how would they hold firm and fair boundaries? Would they want you to eat a healthy meal first? This could always be a first ‘go to’ option, some healthy and delicious meal? Perhaps, if you selected yourself some really scrumptious meals, you may not look for calorie dense binge choices.
In all of this, we are living through a pandemic, these are unusual times, and if it means eating a delicious lasagne with salad and garlic bread, do it!
-You can bet your bottom dollar, it’s less calories than bingeing a crate of Ben and Jerry’s.
Top tips aside, if you do want to make a difference with your relationship with food, and yourself, nothing beats bespoke therapy as we are all so different and there are so many threads to why we eat what we eat. If your pocket doesn’t stretch to the cost of therapy it is worth having a look at Geneen Roth’s books:
Amazon.co.uk, Geneen Roth, Compulsive eating.
But a great couple of starting points would be:
-Keep an eye on your shopping, treat yourself to healthy, delicious foods, a pandemic is not the time to make dramatic changes where you suffer more.
-Create a relationship to food diary; write about your food as though your food is your partner- is that partner treating you well, and nourishing your needs like a friendship? Or is it a toxic, abusive partner that wants you to feel unhappy and ‘lesser than’ ? -That applies to all foods, not just the ones saved for the binge.
Once you have your relationship penned down, have a look through the feelings and have a little think about why you are choosing to feel this way, and there, is where the work begins. No one deserves to feel shitty, especially at the moment.
When you are delving into these dark feelings, treat yourself afterwards to something to break the darkness, put on a great film or power song or do something that you consider to be a treat - that doesn’t go in your mouth.
If you can consistently punish yourself with food, you have more determination than people who don’t. You can do this!
Lastly,
Be kind, be firm and fair, be your own ‘good enough’ parent.
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