Hypnosis...Don't believe it.

APPROXIMATELY....

15% of people are highly susceptible to hypnosis

70% of people are susceptible

15% of people have a low susceptibility

How do we know who we are?

Does it matter?

As a Hypnotherapist, it does matter, but then, it's my job.

Will hypnosis work for me?

Is a regular question I get asked, and at the beginning of any course of work, in fairness, I have no idea.

I know, EVERYONE is susceptible; I just don't know how much.

What I do know, is that I put all my training and life wisdom (some may laugh at this point) into each session, with every client, and we do what ever works to get the change they want.

There is a lovely metaphor:

A plumber gets called in to fix someones bathroom leak, he walks in and the owner explains that they have tried EVERYTHING to fix the leak...Everything- and they are at a loss. The plumber listens to all they have done and turns the system on, listens very carefully and gets his pliers and hammer out of his toolbox, goes upstairs, tweaks a leaver and taps a pipe a couple of times.

He then returns downstairs and says, "The problem's fixed, that'll be £500 please".

The owner, horrified, says, "HOW MUCH?! How is that possible? You were only here five minutes?!"

And the plumber says, "You're not paying for just my time; anyone can tap a few pipes; you're paying for me KNOWING where to tap".

That's the beauty of any great therapy; a lifetime of behaviour can change in just a few moments with knowing exactly where to tap.

Aside from whether hypnosis works for you or not; within any great hypnotherapy comes the learnt understanding of behaviours and rituals alongside the habits we create to reinforce such things...We can learn and understand that bit more about ourselves.

Hypnosis does work, but for the sceptics and the low susceptibility'ists' so too does the therapy, and for those people who believe, 'To get a job done, do it yourself" So does the hour where, they can do it themselves- with a little bit of support for heading in the right direction.

And even with the low susceptibility"ists', those who like to hold ALL the control, and the sceptics who only know what they know; over time the trust can build and even they can choose to want hypnosis...And most do.

So What.

Today I have been listening to a BBC 4 programme on the shadow side to the placebo effect, The Nocebo Effect “to do harm” , and how the Nocebo effect can be equally as strong, (if not more powerful) in tests with pain as the Placebo effect. 

-So for example when we read the side effects of a tablet or Google contra-indications of the medication recently prescribed, we are more likely to go straight to the tablet being the source of our stomping headache and dehydration… Rather than the drink (or two) we had last night.

And, to use a metaphor; If we were out one day (feeling great) and a friend said, "Hmmm.. I am not sure about that top on you..." We can automatically begin questioning how we look, or feeling uncomfortable- even when before that comment, we felt great....The power of suggestion with the Nocebo effect.

We can always call on the consequences of the placebo to do good… But we also need to consider the Nocebo effect- of what we Google when we are worried, or what we hear from health professionals and even friends.

I very much believe in the power of suggestion and self hypnosis as I have been fortunate to have had the experience of simply;  just the best grandparents, and so I thought I would share my story with you on why I chose to become a Hypnotherapist.

I was very close to my grandparents when I was growing up, My grandma was disabled by Rheumatoid Arthritis at an early age- this meant she couldn’t escape my constant narrative when I visited, and to relieve her, my grandpa used to jump in and take me away; outside in the back garden- to his sanctuary, where we’d sketch, pinch the bits off the tomatoes in his super-heated green house, watch the birds, manure the roses and tell me tall stories of how he would collect the manure from all the wild horses that roamed Swansea, and then he would go back to showing me all the wonders of the universe through that back garden.

When I was at University I used to visit them whatever holidays I could, I loved them dearly and knew they loved me just as much.

My grandpa one day, when I was in my teens became diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease- a muscle wasting disease, and for him, it started in a dropped foot when he walked; the diagnosis wasn’t good and my grandpa’s greatest concern was, who would look after my Grandma if something happened to him?

For ten years Grandpa had the disease which only had a mild effect on his body....Just the dropped foot.

One day in my twenties, my grandma became significantly unwell and needed hospitalisation, in hospital she was accidentally dropped and, due to her Rheumatoid Arthritis and (severely) heavy bruising, she sadly died a day or so later.

Everyone was devastated, but none moreso than Grandpa.

It took just a month for my Grandpa to let the Motor Neurone Disease take him.

My Grandpa, is very much the reason why I do truly believe in the wonders of Hypnosis and self hypnosis- he showed me very early on, what the power of the mind can really achieve, and you know what? Even if you don’t believe like I do, it doesn’t matter, because there is enough crazy evidence to suggest (excuse the pun) when all else fails, even simple Placebo can work.

And why the blog on it's shadow side? Because we find it incredibly difficult to believe that there is power in good things- "It's too good to be true" but find it really easy to believe in the power of negative things, no one ever says, "It's too bad to be true", so if we take the understanding of the Nocebo effect and believe that this too can be used positively (and unmaligned) the Placebo has power, so even if you don't believe in Hypnosis, it can be really easy to believe in the Placebo effect.

So whether you believe that Hypnotherapy works or not.... So what.

With the right ingredients; liking your therapist, being on the same wavelength and wanting to change, whether it is Hypnosis or Placebo that works for you -what difference does it make when the change happens?

If you too would like to listen to the BBC programme......

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b052j0ty 

The Butterfly Effect.

In Chaos theory, the Butterfly Effect is the, "Sensitive dependence on initial conditions in which a small change in one state of a deterministic nonlinear system can result in large differences in a later state. "

When people wonder why and if therapy works the Chaos Theory Butterfly Effect can begin to give an answer.

All too easily when we are growing up we unwittingly take on other people's opinions- both good and bad- because when growing up we are like sponges and don't have the wisdom of experience and knowledge to understand and filter; that that is just someone's opinion- their opinion formed from their lifelong experiences; and so on (and we could so easily get lost in nature vs nurture here).

Nevertheless, we carry these "opinions" subconsciously around with us and subconsciously prove their rightness or wrongness, and of course, the closer the person to us, the more likely we absorb- so it could be a parent, a best friend, a favourite aunty, or in situations where the context is unusual, we suddenly discover that we have taken on the comment of a stranger from the corner shop.

So when we are working in a therapeutic environment these little faulty ingrained beliefs come to surface, and with the addition of hypnosis, we can look at ways of changing what we truly believe about what was once a tiny, throw away statement by someone... And how true or false that statement is.

Many moons ago, in my previous career of being a stained glass artist, I believed that, (a silly belief) 'artists don't wear trainers' and therefore because I was an artist, I didn't wear trainers. -this amazingly limited my behaviour; and consequently I had never even considered running or going to the gym...or indeed any pursuit that involved trainers! This belief, was deeply buried in my subconscious and never even surfaced to be questioned, because I just accepted and believed that I was not THAT sort of person.

BUT once that faulty belief is questioned, and then realised that the belief is faulty- (no matter how long it has been with us), change can be put into action.

So when you have a moment, have a think of when you began believing that you were / were not THAT sort of person; when you decided to be anxious about X situation, or when you decided you have an addictive personality or when you chose to be unconfident and then imagine what would change in your life today, if you changed that one tiny belief .

What is Hypnotherapy?

Hypnosis is an altered state of consciousness- it is not sleep.

In fact, we go in and out of these altered states every day- driving in the car, watching telly, being bored, being engrossed- This is the "feeling" of what it could be like in hypnosis (bearing in mind everyone is different).

My favourite feeling is that of the memories of sunbathing (full sun factor of course), when you're lying on a hot enough beach and you can hear the sound of the sea and the sound of people in the distance enjoying themselves, and you are just the right temperature and there are no pressures of work and you know you can lie there until you get ....bored!....Bliss! (Unfortunately it takes me an average of 8 minutes of doing nothing before I get bored!)

So that feeling of being "in the moment" is exactly the feeling I aim for when practicing hypnosis- achieving the feeling of beautiful relaxation; the sort you feel when you've washed the bed sheets, had a bath and are snuggling in, about to go to sleep.

And of course, you are in complete control of this- You can chose how comfortable you want to feel and how 'in the moment' you want to be. All the while your attention is alert and in the right place- like when you read a good book or watch a good film- you know EXACTLY what is going on around you but chose to 'ignore it' and enjoy the film, and if, something occurred, like the knock of the door- your attention would immediately swap to going to answer the door, albeit grumpy.

Hypnosis works in exactly the same way; but with the right input, in the right places, changes in your mind pathways can be made- to make the changes in your day to day life that you want to make, easier. How deeply you go into a trance is up to you? How deeply do you get engrossed in a book? A film? A football match? With the right topic we can become as deeply engrossed as we chose- The "trick" as a Hypnotherapist (not hypnotist- as we work within the realms of trust) Is to achieve that lovely state of relaxation even though you have stresses at work or are anxious or worried.

Hypnosis can make the difference you are looking for if you want to change and feel frustrated that you are getting in your own way and stopping the change you want.

More = More

Don't be afraid of the doodle!

We had our annual National Council for Hypnotherapy conference this weekend, with four fabulous speakers! Trevor Silvester, Ivan Tyrrell, Aaron Turner and Roy. F. Baumeister.  During the day, inspired by what was being said, I took notes upon notes to remember ....EVERYTHING!!! 

I find note taking helps me to subconsciously learn and process by processing through my hands. 

At the end of the day a couple of people asked what I was doing; "It's the way I have always taken notes," I explained, "Some people think in lists, I think in randoms". I find it helps me to remember the sentiment of the talk, if I remember the images I was feeling /seeing at the time; a bit like when you hear a piece of music and it takes you back to the time when it first resonated.

What my note taking also does is it helps me to speed up finding what I was looking for in months to come, rather than reading my way down endless lists.

Now, this approach doesn't suit everybody, I know, but, for the humble, disorganised creatives like myself, it is a great approach to learning or revising.

But also there is opportunity for make links easier- such as the pink ink made links for me throughout the different subjects presented. 

So if you do like a doodle and you do need to remember stuff.... give it a go- Keep your doodles to remind you of what was been said.

What I took from the day was remembering to work simply; go with the basics (amongst other things). But mainly to remember no matter what you do-

MORE = MORE

The more we do something, the easier it gets to do and the easier it gets to do MORE of the same.

That 'same' can be sitting on the sofa eating chocolate or nipping out for a quick walk around the block.

So how about, with the change of the weather we decide to adapt with it, by employing just one or two tiny changes?

then...

MORE = MORE

And those changes become habit....the things we do...and we forget that we are doing them and decide to do new things to adapt to our new self.

MORE = MORE

So even if its as simple as, brushing teeth EVERY morning (yes, I have just finished talking to my teen with a dry toothbrush) or as complicated as a 5 fruit smoothie before the jog, change can be good in little nibbles.

Bon-doodle chaps!

Oooo! And finally, if you notice something in the doodles that resonate with you, please do let me know!

Carpe Diem

Those who know me well; clients and friends alike, know that I very much ascribe to Carpe Diem, and this evening was to be no different.

This evening I would be all tucked up with my best friend in the deepest darkest part of Scotland preparing to greet tomorrow's eclipse with a little vino, but alas, it was not meant to be (another win for EasyJet) as my little Poppy- a 9 year old King Charles Spaniel, was a little too zealous around the local common on our usual walk.

So instead I am home nursing my snoring Spaniel with one sore sprained leg....I am not entirely sure who is the most miserable. 

Naturally, I've spent the entire day consoling myself over the loss of ticket cost as much as the loss of the loveliest of company. So as a consequence, I decided to take a trip to B&Q to peruse hardware to cheer myself up (each to their own, I know). After a frisson with the excitement of an Angle Grinder (I chose to not buy) I made my way home empty handed and empty hearted. Not that cheery, it has to be said.

I drove past my son's school on route and the students were all on their break, and, as it happened, I noticed my 17 year old in the yard; instinct overrode sensitivity and before I knew it I beeped the horn... twice. "Oooh Nooo! Crap! " I thought, "I'll pay for that later" and as I was thinking that with 'mother shame', he looked up, saw me......And smiled...And waved!!! 

The rest of my journey home I beamed....And beamed. That moment as precious as any eclipse.

Mechanical thinking for weight loss.

5 top tips for weight loss ....The kind way.

If diets don’t work then what now?

How about attempting a couple of practical little changes?

Think about your body in terms of what stresses/excites it- imagine it is a machine that needs to be cared for- It’s basic functions for survival are drinking, eating, exercise and sleeping.

(And this may be very dull for the dieters who like “extreme” dieting)

Regulate.

Be boring.

Think logically.

Think mechanically.

TOP TIPS:

1.    Get enough sleep; if the body is tired, the body is stressed.

2.    THREE MEALS A DAY!

Spaced 4 hours apart ideally- this will give your digestive system and the related hormones a break.

3.    Eat before exercise.

If your body wakes hungry/thirsty and you exercise before anything, you’re stressing your body.

4.    Go to natural foods; avoid heavily processed foods- The more processed the food, the harder it is for our natural bodies to process- this stresses the body.

5.    If you’re going to drink alcohol, drink it with your meal.

Hypnotherapy for weight loss can be useful to alter the mind into thinking about the body and it’s functions- stripped clean of emotions; that we eat, we drink, we exercise, to be healthy for survival- 

We have an optimum weight for survival which is normal, natural and ideal.

When we aim for this, our will power works WITH us and not against us in fear of starvation.

Think about it, it’s easy when it’s logical.

.....And if there is resistance to that? Then chances are there are emotional factors getting in the way, hypnosis can work with establishing those factors, getting rid of them and replacing them with positive emotional beliefs.

Like anything, gentle baby steps are always easier for change, so just tailor your life a little and you will get little results, tailor yourself a lot and the results get bigger, and remember, your body is a machine when it’s well oiled and regulated it works at it’s best.

Weightloss vs Addiction

What is food addiction?

Food addiction pretty much is being addicted to rubbish food in the same way that people are addicted to smoking, drinking or drugs. A food addicts' brain transmitters respond in the same way that a junkies brain would respond to their drug. 

Food addiction is a relatively new (and controversial) term, but is something to consider when you reflect on how you respond to certain foods.

How to beat food addiction.

The best way for losing weight is getting to know yourself- How you respond to situations as much as how you respond to foods.

The way hypnosis works with "comfort eating" is a similar way to dealing with different addictions; usually comfort eating is due to the trigger of certain foods that involves white sugar and the refined carbs.  For example, at this time of year, I KNOW hot cross buns are a trigger food for me, because after I have one bun I find myself justifying why I should have more, this can then lead to opening the doorway to other sugary foods. The best remedy? Sadly, not buying hot cross buns in the first place.

Conquering food addiction and the triggers is not easy and not simple, and like Alcoholics Anonymous; the first step is admitting the addiction in the first place- And although there are many jokes of people admitting, "My name is X and I am an alcoholic.."  The sentiment of the statement means the alcoholic recognises that they WANT the drink, their journey will be tough, but they will abstain from what they want the most.

Yep, if it's chocolate, start with that. Abstain from chocolate and be aware that it has been your destructive drug, if it's cheese, do the same.

The beautiful thing about the change is that it only takes a few days for the body to adjust once the mind is set, be gentle and praise yourself for three days after you decide to stop- coach your way through it....At this time of year, it WILL get easier!

 

We have summer ahead.......

This is a great time to CHANGE!

..........It will get easier!

How does hypnotherapy work for weight loss?

Hypnotherapy for weight loss can be incredibly effective if you WANT to lose weight and it "bolsters your intent" like a megaphone, the words need to be there and the hypnosis "shouts" it. For everyone weight control/loss varies from person to person, for some it is "comfort eating" (addiction) others, portion control and so on. Some people want to future focus and goal set, others know their behaviours are linked to something in their past....Either way, hypnosis can make a difference if you are ready to change your body!

Teenage Angst.

For a while doing GCSE's the talented teen can pretty much coast. The talented teen can be in the upper section of their class and be happy with a bit of effort being put into their work.

But of course there can be a point where, in their however many years of coasting on their intellectual talents, they hit the academic "wall" and learning easily starts becoming not so easy. For some, this can lead to an interesting "fail" slope- Purely because they haven't learnt the discipline of study and how to study/revise- because they have never needed to. Their talents have always done them pretty well.

So for some teenagers and their art of study, it may simply be a case of back to basics; "The how to study/how to learn." So if you have an otherwise talented teen that has hit the wall with learning it may be a case of simply showing them the structure of HOW to revise; of how to learn 'academically' because, up to now they have never needed to.

A couple of top tips to begin:

• Understand your exams- what the questions are asking and how many points each question is worth.
• Chunk down your subjects to suit your concentration time.
• Revise without screen/music distractions- research shows that when the telly is on, learnt information goes to a different part of the brain.
• Think about the ways you learn best and use them.
• Don't be afraid of actually ENJOYING revising. 

And of course there are great tricks to learning, the most important part is understanding HOW we learn- everyone takes in information differently. Hypnotherapy can help with the ability to study, both practically and subconsciously and Hypnotherapy can help give you the confidence to succeed!

Resources Vs Resourcefulness

Such a simple story really.

So what stops us?

Our resources? Of course....There is only so much time in the day, there is only so much money. There are so many limits when we look externally and they can limit us....Really limit us..If we look at life from an emotional external perspective.

Shoes are my favourite thing; if I see a pair of shoes on someone that I fall in love with (the shoes that is) I will, without a dropped heart beat say, "Lovely shoes! Where did you get those from?" (usually the second part is already answered as that person loves shoes too and can't wait to talk about shoes). Or I can easily find the time to hunt down a pair online scanning endless page after page until I find the right pair. Suddenly my brain switches into "Focus", and bam! I am focussed- I want those shoes.

How resourceful am I?!

But of course my emotions are involved...I WANT them- the emotions kick in positively, there is no inner dialogue, no endless emotional turmoil (other than perhaps the guilt of another pair). 

Imagine if that superpower of Will is applied to the other areas of my life? 

What if I could find the time (because I want it). Find the money -because I will strategically plan the cost (because I want it).... etc etc

So how can we apply this? Within Hypnosis we move the negative emotions blocking our pathways to success, we can get rid of the self-doubting blocks and find our driven, resourceful self- the one that buys shoes without thinking (even though very cleverly, the mind is super sonically thinking but focussed on a goal) ...That self!

When we look internally at all we are truly capable of, when we look at our past events and think- 'Wow; I got through it, it may have knocked me sideways a bit but, I have done it' We can congratulate ourselves, but more importantly we could look at what we have learnt from it...What we have added to our own hidden reserves that will make us capable of achieving what we really want. Even if all we have learnt is how we are when sideswiped. Because every knock we survive makes us more resourceful than the person next to us who hadn't got a knock

We become better equipped- we know ourselves better and we can use that knowledge to get what we want, If we look at our knocks as acquisitions rather than blocks.

We know stuff!  Getting to the end may be simple, but sometimes the art of beginning needs a bit of sorting.

If we can't see our true resourcefulnesses...Ask friends, ask others, ask for help to see yourself clearly. If you want to be proactive sooner give Hypnotherapy a go- You know yourself better than anyone and you know what you are truly capable of, set that amazing part of yourself to work with Hypnosis...Why not?

Will hypnosis work for me?

Hypnosis works for everyone, it is impossible for it not to work!

Hypnosis is like music; if it is playing, it is impossible not to hear it, however, how much that piece of music resonates within you...That is how much the impact of hypnosis can vary from person to person.

A well trained hypnotherapist will understand that different people like different "music" and naturally they will alter the composition to suit each individual. 

Of course the most important fact is that you trust your therapist, and like going to a concert- You are there because you want to be there, and that makes the concert all the more enjoyable and easy.

Hypnotherapy works IF you want it to, and with the right therapist for you, the ability to change and make a difference in your life comes easily.

How does Hypnotherapy really work?

Hypnotherapy works by communicating with your subconscious- There is nothing to fear this happens daily.

Our subconscious is naturally taking in every single tiny bit of information each day and night, and then throwing or storing most of it away. (Some believe that everything we experience we "record" and that deep in our mind the recordings get stored.)

We are continually subjected to advertising all around us, and who knows how much impact that actually has on us- For example; being 'entranced' with the Apple product- Apple know how the sleek,ergonomically designed i-phone or Apple mac can be tempting in its own right; so designing their way down to the feel of the cardboard of their packaging- should this actually be important when we are buying the product? Of course it shouldn't but it does.

All the discreet subtleties of sales are all around us day in day out.

We are USED to being in a trance! 

Our subconscious is being persuaded daily that it needs things and maybe you don't quite get every product there and then, but it chip chip chips away until you finally accept that you want something you never really wanted.

.....Imagine what happens when you really WANT something?!

That is what makes Hypnotherapy so truly potent- If you really want to change the hypnosis will help you to, like listening to your favourite music, the therapy part? That's about understanding what is going on in your head so that any blocks can be moved, to clear the pathway for speedy, easy change.

One of the most incredible resources you could also own is DOING ALL THIS FOR YOURSELF! You can master your own art of self hypnosis, and really train yourself to relax, resist urges and understand exactly what it is you need and want. 

Hypnotherapy is a speedy therapy and part of the change is being master of your own destiny-Being able to achieve your own results, a simple part of every session is learning your own self hypnosis techniques- The question isn't why would you, but why wouldn't you be all you can be?

Why not tap-in to the massive part of your mind yet undiscovered!

This IS water.

Ok, so the video is quite heavy duty BUT.....

David Foster Wallace begins by talking about two young fish meeting an old fish and the old fish says, "Hows the water?" The young fish say, "What's water?"

This is so true of our life, when something is so big, so accepted and so ingrained though us, it is very difficult for us to understand it's presence and I quote Foster Wallace,

"The most obvious important realities are more often the ones hardest to see and talk about."

He later talks about the power of religion and being religious, or being non religious- that being stubborn toward any discipline doesn't mean we are more "right" but leads us to be less open to others opinions.

As a practitioner I also practice past life regression with patients who have requested this form of deep trance work and have seen some very amazing results. The video reminded me of this fascinating book written by Dr. Brian Weiss, "Many lives, many masters." where he has documented his work around past life regression, but he also says that he himself, is simply, open minded.

Many of my fellow clinical hypnotherapists have questioned why I would practice past life regression and I believe (just as the video above explains); it is not my position to KNOW definitively what is right and what is wrong: Every person has their story, their beliefs and their "water". It is not my place to judge nor hinder any persons' progression to understanding their own 'water" as it is not anyones place to judge my position.

Past life regression can be immensely exciting and thought provoking. The question I believe that I would ask my fellow practitioners is not, "why would you?" But "Why wouldn't you?!"

Vulnerability.

Worth watching Ted talk!!! 

https://www.google.co.uk/search?site&source=hp&ei=3nm1VKXeJKjhywONhYLYBA&q=brene+brown+vulnerability+youtube&oq=bre&gs_l=mobile-gws-hp.1.0.41l3j0i3j0.66458.67416.0.69117.4.4.0.1.1.0.281.1055.2-4.4.0.msedr...0...1c.1.60.mobile-gws-hp..0.4.799.3.Uy6nVHrR7to

So often we pretend because we are afraid of being who we really are.

Brene Brown in her Ted talk above, talks about the power of vulnerability; on how being authentic and vulnerable can increase our own happiness/contentment. Of course, you may take what you like from this talk, as other aspects may resonate with you, but for me, I was reminded of something that happened recently, where my son was unhappy. 

His grandmother commented that he was "lacking in manners" (because he didn't burst into conversation when we visited). I replied, "He is unhappy at the moment, so he is hardly going to be chirpy and smiley." His response should have been to put on a brave face to make his grandmother feel more comfortable, but he was being authentic (as children are way more able to do than us adults).

This got me thinking that we regularly "put on a brave face" and hide how we are feeling. Perhaps that is how we have been conditioned since children- to put the other persons' needs before ours?

In a different parallel and at different times, I would have reprimanded my son to do exactly that. In this instant though I understood that he was unhappy and gave him the space to be "real" and defended his right to be himself. Surely with those who he loves and whom love him, he should be able to be authentic and feel safe?

That led me to thinking, how many times in life are we expected to "perform" and perhaps by releasing the pressure to "perform" we can be much more true to who we really are.

In her talk, Brene highlights 4 basic ways of being:

The COURAGE to be imperfect

COMPASSION to be kind to ourselves before being kind to others.

A greater ability to CONNECT with others because we are being real.

The ability to fully embrace VULNERABILITY.

The January Diet. 5 Top tips for "losing weight".

So many diets and resolutions fail at this time of the year, because our subconscious mind doesn't know quite what is happening and so we end up with the internal battle that eventually means we revert back to old safe patterns. 

So here's just a couple of tips to get the subconscious onboard if you want to succeed in chucking off the Kilos!

1.     Go to bed hungry - Start tonight, not tomorrow. Wake up in the morning already feeling confident.

2.     “I will feel good if…….” -Make food choices to make you feel good, yes, that does mean occasionally eating cake if the moment calls for it!

3     Do what suits YOU - What did you do in the past that worked…long term? It may be a simple gesture; When I eat an apple I feel inspired and in control, for others it may be the dreaded cabbage soup- it can be anything that quietly makes you feel resourceful and like you are suceeding.

4     Be kind to yourself - Is this week already better than last week? Celebrate the daily/weekly successes, this inspires long term confidence in your self to do it!

5     Want to GET RID OF YOUR FAT! - Own your body. “Lose weight” is too ambiguous and no one likes to lose anything.

Remember, achieving ANYTHING different in January is a result in itself!!!

Therapy for the teens, the whats, whys and whos.

Therapy for the teens, the whats, whys and whos.

Happy New January!

Over Christmas I met some new and lovely people and one particular evening I was discussing with a new friend the teen talk I presented back in November and how well therapy works with teenagers and why it so works well. 

One of the things she mentioned was, how hard it was choosing a therapist- what do you look for?! But, before all that, when do you actually consider if your child may need a spot of therapy and if so, what type? (If we can get over the Taboo that the word “Therapy” evokes that is!) 

So I thought I would write a little bunch of my opinions, to hopefully help if someone were to consider therapy for themselves or their child; why would they consider therapy, where to begin understanding what therapy can do.

Therapy at its best can be considered as exercise for the mind; a space to go through what is going on for you, and why life and it’s contents are affecting you in the way they are. It is not (generally) what you see on TV- (sometimes it can be), so it is important to gauge what sort of therapy you are looking for- what do you want to achieve?

I chose to specialise in Hypnotherapy as not only does it involve listening and understanding but it also brings with it active intervention- the chance to make changes on a subconscious level, it can be faster than the traditional talking therapies but similarly works with rapport- trust and harmony.

So why is therapy great for the teens to twenties?

Future jobs: As we all know our kids at school are being taught for jobs that may not be for life now or even that may not have even been invented-the world of tech is moving so quickly, that who knows what change is around the corner.

Teens in particular are being bombarded by screens- there is no time when they are alone, and this is a crucial time of their “external” self development- how they relate to others outside our home environment. The influx of the net, continually demonstrates how they (we) are “not good enough”.

Society values-The dissolution of believing in God/Gods: Over time people had considered others as “unfortunates” or less fortunate- that the Gods or God had cast them into their life of less fortune- it was not their fault. In our society today we have an immense pressure that comes with, “Anything is possible”-X factor, the Apprentice, rom coms- All of the Disney leads us to believe that we can do anything, and then we are continually learning that, actually we can’t.

The teens suffer because they don’t know where they are going- (us adults generally have found our niche- we may not like it, but we have one), and they are constantly finding out through school grading that they cannot be good at everything- a tough lesson.

Home: London living is TOUGH. The cost of living, the demands of work, the demands of life- tough. Parents find themselves working long hours and carrying around the work stress like rucksacks, let alone finding time to keep the children happy as well as fed. Plus we are outgrown- this new, tech savvy version of us is talking in strange languages about snap chat, instagram, twitter (ooh! one I know) etc, and yes, we don’t understand them- because …we don’t. 

Meanwhile, every actively thinking teen is mostly thinking the same and comparing; I am not good enough- I am not as good as the screen, I am not as good as my friends; then the social struggles begin, and without our wealth of experience to fall back on, the teen begins to feel even more vulnerable.

SO why can therapy work and why can it work for the teens in particular?

Because teens are still growing, still formulating their ideals, Hooray!

Because they have one whole hour where;

They have no screen (result). 

The focus is completely on them

They can develop their OWN ideals

They are free from judgement 

They can feel heard 

They can feel special and unique

They have at their disposal an expert on relationships

For us parents, we get into patterns, absolutely we can give an hour over to them, inevitably (certainly in this house) it leads to at least one danger zone that comes with free speech, ending in (usually) “How many times have I said, tidy your room?!” or, (and probably my worst sin) “Your brother can keep his room clean…” (be more like him) Owch.

The 21st Century isn’t easy, we are all doing too much; working too hard at “providing” at home as well as at work, and alongside constant providing comes this huge new wave of, screen living to show us how to be perfect, and all it is doing is exhausting us.

We too can chose to adapt to this new way of living, by doing things differently, therapy can be part of our adaptation, yes it would be lovely to be all things to all, but we too, (including me) are also just not good enough at EVERYTHING, some things have to give. And like we would go to the gym to train our body, we can go to therapy to train our mind and more importantly, nurture our self esteem.

Talking about Talking with Teens.

Word of warning.... TOMORROW.

Talking with Teens is on Thurs  27th Nov at 7pm.

We are almost fully booked now but can squeeze one or two in!

Please let Alan know at Streatham Osteopaths.

Call or text: 07802826109 to book a place. 

We all look forward to hearing from you. 

Tracey’s number is: 07976629098

To introduce Hypnotherapy (and myself) to Furzedown, I am doing a small talk on how hypnotic language patterns can be used when talking with the most challenging of people: THE Teens, to gain the advantage of having (in the least) a tidy bedroom!

People already know that hypnosis induces a trance-like state in people, and yes, it can and does, but the key to any trick is the listening, and sometimes (myself included) we are already going through our lives in a trance-like state; playing out familiar patterns with familiar people in the same way. So othertimes, successful Hypnotherapy is the art of coming OUT of our trances.

Come to the talk at Streatham Osteopaths, in the least there’s wine on the go, the best, you can have a laugh at what fun you can have putting your teen in a double-bind…. Give it a go….

”You look happy today- Is that because you want to make me a tea or a coffee?”

Kettles could be going off all over Furzedown….

Confidence with difficult clients

CONFIDENCE WITH DIFFICULT CLIENTS

Saturday 31st January – One Day CPD Workshop in ‘The Confident Therapist’ Series

Do you find some clients more challenging than others, more difficult to work with or resistant to change?

Do you find some clients harder to put into trance?

Do certain clients make you feel more self conscious, self critical, and worried that you aren’t being good enough?

This one day workshop will give you the tools for success, to effectively and confidently manage difficult clients or situations, by relying on, and expanding your own innate therapy skills. You will also have the opportunity to discuss any difficulties and problems with other experienced hypnotherapists and colleagues

You will learn:

• Models for success

• What makes a client ‘difficult’

• The most common difficulties hypnotherapists have with clients

• Relaxed conversational hypnosis

• How to develop your own hypnotic ‘spiel’

• How to work with the resistant client and induce trance

• How to be creative in the moment

• How to stay in control and radiate confidence!

During this workshop you will have the opportunity to practice new strategies and try out new solution. To experience them yourself and gain confidence through understanding you already know more than you are putting into practice.

Although primarily for hypnotherapists this workshop may be of interest to therapists from other disciplines.

This will be a small group of limited numbers so please book early to avoid disappointment. Take advantage of our Earlybird Booking Discount – book before December 31st and save almost 25%!

Date: 31st January 2015

Times: 10am – 4.30pm

Cost:

NCH & GHR members - £99 (Earlybird price £75)

Non-NCH/GHR members - £125 (Earlybird price £95)

Venue: Central London, to be confirmed

Your Trainers: 

Tracey Grist & Jeff Turner

Email Tracey directly via this website or hypkids@gmail.com 

Teen talk

Morning all!

To introduce Hypnotherapy (and myself) to Furzedown, I am doing a small talk on how hypnotic language patterns can be used when talking with the most challenging of people; the Teens, to gain the advantage of having (in the least) a tidy bedroom!

People already know that hypnosis induces a trance-like state in people, and yes, it can and does, but the key to any trick is the listening, and sometimes (myself included) we are already going through our lives in a trance-like state; playing out familiar patterns with familiar people in the same way. So othertimes, successful Hypnotherapy is the art of coming OUT of our trances.

Come to the talk at Streatham Osteopaths, in the least there’s wine on the go, the best, you can have a laugh at what fun you can have putting your teen in a double-bind…. Give it a go….

”You look happy today- Is that because you want to make me a tea or a coffee?”

Kettles could be going off all over Furzedown….

The talk is on Thurs  27th Nov at 7pm.

Please let Alan know at Streatham Osteopaths which time works for you, call or text: 07802826109 to book a place. 

We all look forward to hearing from you. 

Tracey’s number is: 07976629098

Scroll down For more teen-tips!

Talk in Balham

Streatham Osteopaths will be introducing 2 new practitioners at the practice with a 2 hour talk.

Tracey Grist- Creative Hypnotherapist will be giving a talk, "Talking with Teens" where she will be introducing Hypnotherapy and NLP and discussing how these can be used in communicating with teenagers and demonstrating some of the language patterns she uses to give you more tools to communicate differently and effectively with your children.

There will be time for questions of course, and we are looking to hold the Talk on either Thurs 27th Nov at 7pm or Sat 29th Nov at 2pm. 

Please let Alan at Streatham Osteopaths know via text or a call on :07802826109 and book a place 

We look forward to hearing from you. Tracey's number is: 07976629098 or contact her through: www.hypnotherapybalham.com or hypkids@gmail.com

Talking with Monsters

Why IS it that other parents seem to say yes to their teens, when all you want to say is a resounding, "NO?!"

Teens are aware that most of the time us adults are on Autopilot- What to cook, what to remember, what someone said, what to plan for work tomorrow, etc etc...  

There very rarely is a good time to interrupt our thought stream, as either our minds are too lost in our own thoughts universe or we are deciding to settle into our favourite programme or finally sit down with that audible "Aaah"  (the signal that we have done all we could today) then the most patient of teens launches in!

Either way, it always takes us a time to actually catch onto what is actually being said (or even asked), and eventually we twig and sometimes we absolutely do NOT agree!

What to do.....

"Chunk it down" If Your delightful teen is playing you against ALL the other parents- GET NAMES! Find out exactly how many and who, have said that Yes. 

In excitement of the event, your teen may have missed out vital information that they would consider boring- such as, "Yeah, of course there will be parents present, you can come too."

Or "Yeah, I know I said Vodka, but it's just what we call lemonade because we put spices in it." (Unbelievable but true example).

Just because your teen is getting carried away, try not to get caught in the moment- give yourself time to think or consider- It will also train your teen a bit more in the art of patience...and possibly the art of making a cup of tea....

Establish whether this is your anxiety being projected or whether the situation does demand a no. If you have any doubts, write a list of pros and cons, get a second opinion should you wish.

If you definitely say no, and they definitely think yes, stick to your guns- you are saying No because you love them.

KEEP TO IT.

If a teen sniffs any sign of weakness, they will be ON IT! Your day to day focus is the balance of a million things, their day to day focus is simple- getting what they WANT.... winning your YES.

Be warned and keep strong!